Education Headlines

Liberal Parents Struggling To Find School District With High-Quality Drag Queens

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

Education Education Headlines News

Education Education Latest News,Education Education Headlines

NORFOLK, VA—Saying it was never too early to begin instilling the values they believe in, liberal parents Christopher and Stacey Castaneda confirmed Friday that they were struggling to find a school district with high-quality drag queens. “We’re committed to finding a school system that has well-paid, skilled drag queens who can provide our son with the kind of education he needs to be successful,” said Christopher, adding that the child’s current school has a ratio of only one drag queen for every 32 students, leaving little time for one-on-one instruction. “We want Caleb to have access to a wide variety of styles—fish drag, camp queens, activessles—not just the same old busted Tina Turner impersonator he has now. Ideally, we’d have him in a drag queen–immersion program, but at the very least, we want a district where its a core part of the curriculum. Stage presence and wow factor are a must, and if the queen is bilingual, that’s even better.” At press time, the parents announced plans to enroll Caleb in private school after witnessing St. Edward’s Academy’s absolutely stunning autumn drag pageant.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

bitch ME

These people are sick

Hey since when did The Onion start doing real news? AmIright? Amiright?

They should come to our school; we have one of the leading drag queens in SF — Persia— teaching in our after school arts program.

Surprised this wasn’t written by TheBabylonBee

DavidAFrench, what do you have to say about this?

Why? How old is he?

First world problems.

😂

allahpundit Child Abuse. If a parent really said this sick shit.

ХА !

I'm really sick of all those cheapo drag queens schools have been getting. It's time we started giving schools more money.

haha...Fear GOD fools

😆

Lmao!

😂

This is no longer a parody

allahpundit Is that DavidAFrench?

This .... is why we can’t have nice things

Yo, Babylon Bee. You got company

💀

The struggle is real.

EmmaSocey

They should check Ru Paul university.

Feels more like clickhole

Tough scene

Purity is important =P

I laughed

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in EDUCATİON

Education Education Latest News, Education Education Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Ciao! Want to learn a second language? Save 50 percent on a lifetime subscription to the Babbel appChoose from 14 languages and access more than 10,000 hours of high-quality language education online.
Source: Yahoo Lifestyle - 🏆 365. / 59 Read more »

Judge Recalled After Brock Turner Case Now Coaches Girls High School TennisFormer judge Aaron Persky now coaches girls junior varsity tennis at a high school in California, and many parents are not happy about it.
Source: Yahoo Lifestyle - 🏆 365. / 59 Read more »

Ban on flavored e-cigarettes won't help youth already addicted, experts sayMore than a quarter of high school students admit to vaping. Experts in what? Flavored e-cigarettes don't kill people. People kill people. Then they'll have to get unaddicted!
Source: NBCNewsHealth - 🏆 707. / 51 Read more »