A Psychologist Shares 2 Ways To Stop ‘Groundhogging’ In Your Love Life

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Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides video and telephone psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching to individuals in over 40 countries worldwide.

“Groundhogging” refers to the tendency to repeatedly date the same type of person, despite past similar relationships not working out. The term is inspired by the movie “Groundhog Day,” where the protagonist Phil, played by Bill Murray, relives the same day over and over, unable to escape his time loop.

Overcoming groundhogging requires a conscious effort to recognize your dating patterns. One helpful way to reflect more deeply is to write down details of past relationships, focusing on the common traits and characteristics of your partners and recurring patterns in your relationship dynamics.It’s also essential to analyze your preferences and understand whether they are based on societal expectations, past experiences or comfort zones.

People often gravitate towards familiar traits and characteristics they have grown up around because they feel comfortable and predictable. Despite past failures, they may hope that the next person with the same qualities will somehow be different and heal wounds that the previous person could not. By recognizing these patterns, you can consciously choose your dating behavior. Seeking professional guidance can also provide insights, tools and a foundation of support to break the groundhogging cycle.found that while most people do indeed have a “type,” being open to new kinds of relationship experiences and tapping into your outgoing side can help you meet a wider variety of people and lower the chances of groundhogging.

 

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