You miss a deadline, forget an important birthday, say the wrong thing in a meeting: all these can induce a cycle of severe self-criticism, also known as negative self-talk.
You might think being hard on yourself after a professional or personal faux pas will help you to not make that same mistake in the future. Oftentimes this isn't the case, though, says Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist and professor at Pepperdine University."We beat ourselves up in our head thinking, 'Oh, this is going to motivate me,' but, actually, we just end up fulfilling a self-fulfilling prophecy," Ho says.Sign up for NBC San Diego newsletters..
The science backs this up: When you feel like you're not performing at your best, self-criticism makes you more emotional and unable to learn from your mistakes,To curb some of your more unproductive thoughts, Ho recommends giving yourself some slack. She offers up three ways to practice more self-compassion after a misstep:Ask yourself what evidence supports your internal negativity, and what evidence contradicts it. Write down your findings in two columns and compare them.
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