Lean On Me: How do I make sure I don't lose my childhood friends after school?

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'My cousin told me that you make a whole new set of friends at uni and kind of forget about your old ones. But I don’t want to do that.'

We lose friendships when we forget about them, or let them slip down our life priorities list

I love my school friends and I want to keep them in my life. What’s your best advice for not losing your school friends when you leave school?‘If you become one of those people who keeps her childhood friends all her life, you’ll be an extremely lucky woman’ You know what, I am delighted to hear that you want to hold onto your school friends. So often, our teenage friendships are built more on fear and proximity than actual compatibility.

A lot of people meet their true friends at university because they feel like they’re more in control of their decisions and more sure of who they are in the world. You probably swap secrets and gossip and texts all the time, which makes those friendships feel urgent and precious. And they are. But when you start turning up somewhere different each morning, whether that’s a new job or a university course or an apprenticeship, you may notice a little distance. That’s natural; do not panic.

By saying out loud that you want to keep these friendships in your life, you’ve already recognised how special they are to you. All you have to do now is follow through on your lovely intentions.

 

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It's a twice-over fable. There's no guarantee of making new friends and no reason to lose old ones.

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