Harold Finster could not possibly have been on stage at Woodstock during Country Joe's "Freedom," because the song was actually performed by Richie Havens and Finster was living in California at the time.
PALO ALTO, CA—Alzheimer's researchers at Stanford University published a study this week showing that the degenerative brain disease is beginning to affect the baby boomer generation, causing many to remember the 1960s even less accurately than they normally would."We're seeing men and women who have spent so much of their lives misremembering the past grow even more detached from reality," said neuroanatomist Dr. Arthur Rothensen, who conducted the study.
"Dad always used to exaggerate his experience of the 1960s, but now he's totally gone," said Dylan Finster, who recently moved his father Harold into managed care. "It was bad enough when he would go on and on about being at Woodstock, and how it completely changed the world for the better. But these days, not only did Woodstock change the world, he was also airlifted out of Hanoi with Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jefferson Airplane in 1969.
"I remember when Marvin Gaye sang that 'I Have A Dream' song in Washington, D.C.," 63-year-old participant Shirley Meneken said. "Everything was perfect after that. There were no more problems or disagreements after that song. Everything was so good and perfect! And we were there! We did it! Nobody felt any disillusionment years later.
"Zero of 1,500 subjects admitted to remembering anything about the disco-malaise of the 1970s, the surface-level materialism of the 1980s, or the overindulgent parenting of the 1990s," Alzheimer's Research Center director Robert Feinmann said. "It's almost as if those memories are too painful to deal with, either because they're ashamed of them or because they're so unbelievably lame. Either way, to most boomers, it's like those times happened to someone else.
Need a new 60s joke.
You know, I actually looked into the definition of satire. You should check it out sometime.
Everyone was at Woodstock.
As it's been said; if you remember the 60s, you didn't experience the 60s
🤣
True story. Leaving work at the VA, overheard approaching the elevator. Vet 1: It happened. I was there. I remember. Vet 2: Amazing. But I've never actually heard an elephant talking. Vet 1: Obviously you haven't done enough LSD. ☮️✌️🎸 Veterans acid goodtimes
Great old age makeup on LukeMones here
I still remember that human experimentation with injections of unknown content is a crime against humanity punishable by hanging.
Everything after Woodstock is a blur
This is in poor taste. Funny though so I don’t care. HA!
ummmm what happened to satire, reality keeps creeping into the headlines...there's only two writers left at the Onion and one is an AI ;)
yeah i remember opening for the Dead at Fillmore West ..what a night
Alzheimers and not the drugs…? there were rather a lot around at the time….
My god, this article is on point, though. People (especially people who aren't minorities or part of the media), seem to portray the 60s in a nicer way than it actually was. My goodness, the racism and wars that were going on... At least there was a fight for what's right though.
This would be funny if it weren’t true
Alzheimer's is funny to you?!
Ooh. Wee.
😭😭😭
'If you can remember it you weren't... well, who knows, you might well have been there after all...'
👅👍
STOP POSTING REAL STORIES
Bit dark.
Why is the onion tweeting real news?
The onion used to actually be funny. Now they're just making generic 'funny' political shit.
Aaaah yes, back in the day when free love only cost 2 bucks.
Dick Nixon had a cute smile.
Love you, Onion!
Wait, is that Joe Biden?
This one is bitcoin because gold is over.
NYCMayor remembers being at Woodstock... which is very unlikely as he was 8 years old in 1969...
back in MY day-
The Onion is cruel but fair.
“We met at nine, we met at eight, I was on time, no you were late, You lost a glove, it was a comb, We dined with friends, we dined alone, Am I getting old? Oh no not you, How strong you were, how young and gay, A prince of love in every way, Ah yes, I remember it well” Gigi 1958
Hell I can barely remember it BEFORE I got Alzheimer's.....
At least they don't think they're still in the 1960's like that episode of Seinfeld
Everything after Woodstock was a blur.
i have confidence on a select doctors who are doing research for the cure. 'no pressure.' probably any minute. :)
The further you go back, the less the generation remembers, that's why the older generation is called silent
If I worked at an airport, I would probably nervous everytime I heard the words 'boom' or 'boomers'
60s crystal clear. It's yesterday that the problem.
i just hope they find cure for it soon before millennials start misremembering the controls for GTA
I was in ‘Nam. Maybe.
“We had love, we had peace, we had dinner.” — I remember it well
😂😂😂🤣😅
is that Michael Cudlitz?
Great Scott!