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School Of The Arts Aims To Transform Boys And Girls Into Insufferable Young Men And Women

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FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting that its incoming class of high school freshmen is their most coddled to date, instructors at Chestnut Ridge Academy for the Arts told an education conference this week that its mission is to take bright, precocious boys and girls and transform them into insufferable young adults. “Here at Chestnut Ridge, we are dedicated to providing artistically gifted young people with the resources they need to blossom into entitled, condescending men and women with an inflated sense of self-importance and accomplishment,” Principal Madeleine Healey told conference attendees, noting that the school has already graduated thousands of budding young narcissists with zero sense of shame or perspective. “Of course, many of our students are already immensely smug and self-satisfied when they arrive. But after years of only talking about themselves and receiving undeserved praise from everyone around them, they’ll leave our doors more pompous and unbearable than we ever thought possible.” Healey added that anyone skeptical about the merits of an arts education should examine the school’s track record, as their alumni have gone on to have completely bullshit careers in the arts all over the world.

 

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A very useful trait to have for the unsuccessful. I warms my heart to see that there is still such a good education.

Did you just assume their gender?

They already have a course for adults, right?

HighStrungLoner

That's what most art students are lol

Another Blast from the Past circa 2013. Good job keeping it fresh The Onion Bot!

I’M EXPRESSING MYSELF

What happened to the horoscopes though?

Actually, any 'higher education' school

🤬

😓 at last!

You’ve been on fire recently

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