The Struggle of Learning How to Be a Girlfriend for the First Time

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'At age 27, I was in my first-ever relationship, and I was way behind on the learning curve'

Photo: J.V. Aranda Welcome to It’s Complicated, stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships.

Earlier that night, he had driven an hour to come support me at an event I was throwing. About an hour into the after-party, I let him know I was leaving — and then left before he could tell me that he wanted to come with. It didn’t even cross my mind that as my boyfriend, he would probably rather leave with me than hang out in a random club with people he didn’t know, at an event where I was his only link.

Case in point: Two weeks after the night I left him, I slipped up again. There was a movie we’d talked about going to see, but I went the day it came out instead of waiting for the weekend, when we could go together. I didn’t think it was such a big deal, but in conjunction with my history, it became one — suddenly, the movie was a metaphor for my inability to prioritize him. I feared I would never learn how.

 

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