. But I also loved so many of those sessions as I sat in silence with my both of my babies when they were infants and added another layer to the bond. It was a hard paradox to reconcile how I could hate and love the same thing. But then I realized so much of motherhood is like that.
That wasn't the only surprise. There always seemed to be something lurking in the corners of parenthood waiting to. That was tough for me, as a self-proclaimed Type A personality. This little life, whom I deeply loved, owned me; I was a prisoner to whatever schedule boss baby dictated. And I couldn't even remember the schedule since my mind was scrambled eggs. I had logs for everything the baby did – last meal, last pee, last poop, last pump sesh.
The biggest shock of all, though, is the fact that many people don't talk openly about most of these things in detail. They give little snippets here and there, but rarely do people delve into the nitty-gritty of motherhood before you have a baby. When you're in the thick of it and you, there's plenty of commiserating. But there's no real prep for the reality of motherhood, and the fact that these experiences that seem outlandish are actually completely normal and expected.
I know that even though the minutia of each day and each diaper explosion that made me feel like I was losing my mind, it had no correlation to how fiercely I love my kids.the newborn phases sucked for me . I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed. I know that even though the minutia of each day and each diaper explosion that made me feel like I was losing my mind, it had no correlation to how fiercely I love my kids. These admissions don't make you a bad mother. They make you an honest one — and I get that now. I also know that while those first few months feel like you are drowning in quicksand while trying to keep everyone in your family afloat, you eventually climb your way out..