Mosquitoes Don't Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

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MINNEAPOLIS—According to a study published Friday by researchers at the University of Minnesota, mosquitoes have no physiological reason to bite humans, and in fact do so only out of spite. "For years, entomologists assumed members of the Culicidae family drew blood for sustenance, but as it turns out, they feed almost exclusively on pollen," said study author Dr. Robert Benenson, who explained the sociopathic insects either spit out human blood immediately after they bite, or else carry it from person to person, gratuitously killing millions as they spread diseases like malaria and dengue fever. "While there is literally zero biological necessity for their bloodsucking behavior, mosquitoes enjoy putting a damper on our outdoor activities and expend tremendous energy spreading deadly pestilence throughout the world. They just really, really hate us." Benenson noted that mosquitoes bite a variety of vertebrates besides humans and are especially fond of leaving itchy patches on the skin of baby pandas, koala bears, and very small puppies.

MINNEAPOLIS—According to a study published Friday by researchers at the University of Minnesota, mosquitoes have no physiological reason to bite humans, and in fact do so only out of spite. "For years, entomologists assumed members of the Culicidae family drew blood for sustenance, but as it turns out, they feed almost exclusively on pollen," said study author Dr.

Robert Benenson, who explained the sociopathic insects either spit out human blood immediately after they bite, or else carry it from person to person, gratuitously killing millions as they spread diseases like malaria and dengue fever. "While there is literally zero biological necessity for their bloodsucking behavior, mosquitoes enjoy putting a damper on our outdoor activities and expend tremendous energy spreading deadly pestilence throughout the world. They just really, really hate us.

 

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They're all needle and no teeth.

We had it coming

then why do they insist one mkeing me look like a tomato?

Mosquitoes are dicks I guess.

Male mosquitoes just eat nectar all the time. Female mosquitoes are jerks.

Jerks!

mausbaus37

Them damned Teslasquitos!!!...

callum_may stole this from our brain

If injecting bleach cures COVID....injecting DEET stops mosquitoes?

This is just great.. really great 😂

They lied! Them little bastards... Just for that I'm getting a deet transfusion. Snack time bitchs.

The sadistic little suckers won't even negotiate a safe word.

Huh. Turns out they are just assholes.

Psych, suckas!

But are they gonna bite the onion?

Have you told them that? Somebody should

Damnit now I’m gonna lose health when I’m trying to regen

always knew these little shits were not up to anything good.

I hate mosquito once I had bite my dad and it killed him even before it bit him! It very scary and death imminent

Mosquitoes are so fucking annoying even makes me wanna like this:

The only reason I'm invited to outdoor parties is for mosquito control. I'm like mosquito crack.

The most useless annoying thing in the world

Such assholes

Totally guffawed, followed by a”that’s a good one.”

Seriously, a mosquito flies by and I break out in hives.

mosquitos won't even bite my best friend... it kinda makes me hate her

I knew it!

Jerks

Mosquitoes are nature's way of telling humans 'oh so you thought sitting still was easy?'

Want. The word you were looking for is 'want'...

onion more like.... carrot

Mosquitos should be canceled

Mosquito:

They bite us for sadistic pleasures.

mean insects is what they are.

WOW our state bird is a huge bitch

At least they're not wasps.

bees sting TheBabylonBee

A mosquito buzzing by your ear is the worst sound in the world

They are just jerks

how can you be so right and so wrong

Yeah they are just assholes

I don’t think they bite us at all. Those fuckers just jam their ugly noses, balls-deep in our flesh and snort up our blood. It’s quite rude, actually. KNOCK IT OFF!

PRICKS!!!

Every time they land on me, I look at them and sincerely say, 'you don't have to do this ya know' they look up at me with a teeny buzzing, 'that's what all of you say', plunging the tiny straw into my skin to fill their bellies until they can drink no more. I smash them then.

They have to assert their dominance somehow, since we took their nukes

Dude...!

kazzie9t9

Human bite is lot more dangerous than mosquito bite!!

There's a lot of that going around.

Because they’re strong independent Mosquitoes and they don’t need no Human

Exactly, they don't have to but still do. Hence the well earned title, Deep Sea Fuck Heads...

In their defence the Mosquito has always claimed he was here first.

I, personally erupt into flames if i just see a mosquito. Nature's perfect killing machine

Few sips are enough

Besides their eggs being nutrition for baby fish, what is natures reason for mosquitos?

Wow. I'm starting to really hate mosquitoes.

Don't need to bite us🤔 hmmm, they only need to box us huh.

philhester Mosquitões in portuguese mean huge mosquitos.

More antimosquito propaganda....... How sad.

Mfw the onion

Avoiding humans is the best way for mosquitoes to not turn zombie.

Absolut mad lads

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