adults loved to tell me i’d make a great lawyer one day when i was a kid which i realize now was their way of calling me a bitchobsessed with the woman in my yoga class who paid for 60 minutes and laid motionless on the floor the entire timeguy told me his favorite book was the canterbury tales. I thought it would impress him to recite the prologue in middle english. and, well, it certainly made an impression.
Last night I met someone to works in sales and said “wow I’ve never met anyone who works in sails!”, thinking - because I live in an imaginary world much more beautiful than this one - that he makes sails for sailboatsHillbilly Elegy looks like a gag in 30 Rock where Jenna is playing both roles in an attempt to win two Oscars for the same movie.
“you know, that easily could have been a Netflix special ... The quality on those has really gone down a lot”*Passing a note to a co-worker* can you trip me when I walk by so I have to go home? Circle yes or no. Landlords are so amazing. Do I think it’s possible that five gallons of water have fallen through the light fixture and onto a bucket on my bathroom floor because the upstairs neighbors “are not shutting the shower curtain properly”? No, my sibling in Christ, I do not.I wanna give my man my card information and let him buy whatever😫..
The bedroom ibuprofen became the kitchen ibuprofen and now that’s gone I’ve got to get the car ibuprofen because I can’t find the handbag ibuprofenzoning out is so embarrassing. it’s like oh no sorry i wasn’t staring at u i was actually imagining myself performing an original song at my high school talent show and all of my peers being like omg…….i didn’t know she could sing…….
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