The dance between our abundant mistakes and our inability to repair them causes tremendous grief.to do, how to improve, and what we want. This is perhaps truest in relationships as we learn what does and doesn’t work with each other. And yet, the simple act of acknowledging those mistakes seems so hard for us to do.
In our intimate relationships, this dance between our abundant mistakes and our inability or unwillingness to repair them causes a tremendous amount of. When mistakes are made, we often fight about who made the mistake, whose fault it is, and why it is or isn’t important, which leads to mistakes on top of mistakes on top of mistakes.“I am sorry you feel that way” is not an apology.
Offering the quick “Sorry!” without care or feeling is also ineffective and potentially harmful. I call this the “throw-away apology” because it is missing the genuine care and intention needed to heal. Worse still, “Are you happy now?” or an angry “Fine, I am sorry!” or “OK, OK, OK, I am sorry!” uses some of the right words but delivers them withNext, the “apology pity party” includes some version of “I am the worst partner in the world. I am so terrible. I am evil. Please forgive me.
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