3 Ways To Break Your ‘Shame-Loneliness Loop’—From A Psychologist

Shame is a powerful emotion and a deeply distressing feeling associated with the perception of having done something wrong or being fundamentally flawed. While the link between loneliness and shame is often discussed in terms of how loneliness can lead to feelings of shame, the inverse relationship—how shame can lead to loneliness—is equally significant but remains underexplored.

For example, a person who grew up in a household where academic success was highly valued, and they struggled in school, might internalize the belief that they are not intelligent or capable, feeling ashamed of their perceived failure. For example, someone who lost their job due to a mistake might feel intense shame about this failure, fearing others will see them as incompetent. This fear can be so overwhelming that they isolate themselves to avoid potential rejection. They might skip social gatherings where job status could be questioned or avoid networking events crucial for finding new work.

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