Passive-aggressive behavior can sometimes be hard to identify. Here are some common phrases to avoid.. But because it can be insidious, you may not always recognize when it’s happening to you — or when you’re guilty of doing it yourself.
“Being passive-aggressive often entails a desire to avoid face-to-face conflict, not being truly honest about what “You are saying, ‘I stand by what I said and I’m sorry you’re having this reaction to it, but that’s your problem,’” New York City clinical psychologistwho goes by “Dr. Mel,” told HuffPost. “Instead, take accountability for the words you spoke. While intention may not have been to cause any harm, the impact of those words did cause harm. You might say, ‘I’m sorry I hurt you.’ Or, ‘I apologise that what I said caused you pain.
“To address the root of the problem could take a little more work, which might look like , ‘Hey, it seems like we’re not really hearing each other. Let’s talk about what you like about reality TV, and I’ll tell you what I don’t like, and maybe we can find some compromise.’ ‘Whatever’ is throwing in the towel too soon, and then resenting the other person for it.”As Robinson-Brown explained, this statement is dismissive and implies that the person’s opinion or perspective cannot be trusted.
“It’s like saying, ‘Why are you so weak that you can’t handle the pain I just inflicted on you?’ There are several problems with a statement like this, but a healthier approach would be to acknowledge the pain and try to understand it. Something like: ‘I can see that I hurt you, and I’m very sorry for that. I’d like to understand how I hurt you so I don’t do that again.
“If you want to play nice and not ruffle feathers, being passive-aggressive is a way to express a little anger while hiding behind a facade of being the friendly person who provides a superficial friendship to everyone,” he said.