“The hate speech was so much better in my day.” Fire up some old Rush Limbaugh cassette tapes to show your son how the new stuff just doesn’t stack up. “I’m gonna watch you smoke an entire pack of cigarettes.” It’s typically what you do when you catch your son smoking, but he’ll still get the message. “Barron, you were supposed to give me those talking points for my speech by noon.” Young people need to learn the importance of deadlines. “Five more minutes, and then it’s time for your bath.
” Until now, you thought bad parenting might have produced such a terrible person. “We’re sending you to military academy.” If he’s going to flirt with indoctrination, he might as well get serious about it. “Your mother would be ashamed of you.” Only the first of many women he will disappoint. “I expected more from a husband and father of three.” It’s always sadder when your brainwashed son has 47 years under his belt and really ought to know better.