If your child falls over and your default reaction is to sweep them up, hug them and instantly say ‘you’re okay’, you’re certainly not alone.But a child therapist suggests saying ‘you’re okay’ or even ‘it’s okay’ isn’t the best response when your little one is upset, angry or has hurt themselves because – while well intentioned – it invalidates their feelings.In the clip, a character called Bing Bong has lost something that’s important to him, and he becomes sad.
Wilshusen explained that a lot of parents try to “fix” or distract their children when they have big feelings, but this isn’t the best method as “it invalidates the child’s feelings and teaches them to label different emotions as good or bad”. “Then they start thinking: ‘Am I not allowed to feel sad? Am I not allowed to feel hurt?’ That’s why a lot of kids and a lot of adults repress different emotions. The biggest ones I see are anger and sadness.”