‘Choosing Family’ Brings Home Lessons of Gathering Kin Across Time

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In her new book 'Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance,' DePaul University professor Francesca Royster describes the process of becoming a mother and building a family as a queer Black woman.

In her new book, Francesca Royster describes the moment she knew she wanted to be a mother as a transcendent experience watching a mother holding her sleeping child on an airplane. But the DePaul University professor’s path to holding her own child as a queer Black woman in her 40s was a little bumpier than that beatific moment.

Royster also described the understanding she and her wife had to develop about the trauma inherent in any adoption. “I hope that what she feels is just a sense of pride and just a reinforcement of the deep love that we have for her and the fact that, you know, we went through a lot in order to create our home for her and to sustain that,” Royster said.“Choosing Family: A Memoir of Queer Motherhood and Black Resistance” by Francesca T. Royster.

Four months previously, Annie and I had turned in our photobook so that birth parents could consider us to become adoptive mothers. In that photobook, we tried our best to represent our strengths: two seasoned older women, one Black, one white, who loved each other and wanted to raise a child and to bring that child into our community of family and friends—our chosen family. We tried to present ourselves as we are: caring and goofy. We wore our hearts on our sleeves.

 

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