The sun was rising as we drove across the Minnesota state line, marking the moment my family and I left the only home we had ever known. I wanted to feel excited about my new Ph.D. program, but all I could feel was guilt. We were moving to New York so that I could pursue my goal of becoming a professor. The move was good for me professionally, but I worried about uprooting my husband and daughters.
I studied biology in college, taking a full course load and working night shifts at a local hospital to help provide for my new family. It was challenging to balance classes, work schedules, and being a mom. But I got through it, finding moments of joy along the way. On the nights when I was home, I'd read my class notes out loud with my daughter. She'd respond by asking questions, such as"Mom, what are bacteria?" It helped us both learn.
When I interviewed for my Ph.D. position, I asked a senior grad student whether there were any resources to help student parents."I'm sorry," she said."I don't really know of anybody who would be able to help with that." Her answer reinforced a fear I'd harbored: that I would be a lone student parent in my Ph.D. cohort, trying to forge a path on my own.