This is how we do it: ‘She sets a timer for sex and my job is just to enjoy what she’s doing to me’

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Stella loves her new-found desire, while Satya is learning how to worry less. And they’re saving their long sessions for the weekend

I’ve never found a sexual partner so attractive. When Satya gets naked I immediately feel weak. Soon after we started dating, I was sitting on her sofa after a night out and she put on a sexy, romantic song and gave me a really slow lapdance. She is an amazing dancer and held eye contact without laughing. I was really turned on, but I also felt very nerdy, like an undeserving teenage boy.

In previous relationships I have been accused of wanting to have sex less than my partners, which is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy because it’s not a very sexy dynamic if your partner is always itching for it, and you’re the mean one, always withholding.Now often I feel the most turned on when I have to work for it a bit – when Satya doesn’t initially want it as much as me and I have to seduce her.

Recently, Satya and I have started doing special exercises to try to make it easier for her to climax. I will set a timer for 20 minutes, and touch her, and I will stop when the timer goes off, no matter what. The point is to take the pressure off finishing, and concentrate on pleasure.

 

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