Our School’s “Holiday” Tradition Feels Wrong to Me on So Many Levels

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Dear Ask a Teacher: I'm new to the school, but I'm dying to speak out about why I think they should do away with this nonsense.

But since you are new to the community, I’d encourage you to attend some PTO meetings, volunteer at school events, and get involved before proposing any changes. You won’t make any friends by attempting to upend tradition as an outsider, and your efforts will likely be fruitless. Changing a longstanding tradition takes time. Establish a reputation. Find allies. Look into the kinds of fundraising that schools in your area do. Gather information. Play the long game.

My son has had a really hard time making friends and playmates since starting kindergarten. It’s not super surprising because he definitely marches to the beat of his own drum. However, he is very friendly and outgoing too. He’s always had little friends in daycare and finds a kid to play with at any playground we visit.

Part of the problem is that he gone from a class of 15 to a class of 25, but he’s also just increasingly out of step with his peers. This is a kid who taught himself to read at age two but can’t pedal a tricycle. He is more interested in biology videos than cartoons.My wife and I both know how lonely it is to be the smart but lonely kid but we don’t really want that for him, especially because he’s much more extroverted than we ever were.

Here, the law of large numbers comes into play. If your kid isn’t clicking with the peers around them, a different childhood activity may be a better starting place. If your kid is the “brainy” sort, a robotics group or science club might be the way to go. My younger brother struggled to make friends until he joined a D&D club in middle school.

The other way you can help that may seem obvious but I do think would be effective—arrange playdates. As soon as there is a kid that your son seems interested in spending time with, you should absolutely work to createproximity with that kid. Have that kid over after school, meet at the park Kids need opportunities to practice social skills outside the prescribed rules of school/clubs/etc. Anecdotally, I have noticed fewer of my students having playdates than I used to when I was a kid.

 

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You shouldn't be teaching. Good bye

Teachers receive more coffee mugs than anyone in the universe.

I understand the parent's concern, but the teacher is correct to say that long established traditions don't end over night. Join the PTO and share your feelings.

We did it at our school not as fundraiser but as what we spent our PTA money on. Everything was a dollar and you got a wrapped gift the kid got to pick out. We always asked and received donations for kids with no $ so everyone had the opportunity to “shop”. ❤️

Bring your parents.

'Loner' could also be autistic. A friendly kid who'll play with other kids, but somehow can't form stable friendships. Hyperlexic, but physically clumsy. Solitary 'nerdy' interests. 'Marches to the beat of his own drum' = either unconcerned with, or unaware of social norms.

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