Teacher, don’t teach me nonsense!, By Wole Olaoye

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My name is Government, in case you don’t know. You underrate me at your peril, Teacher. You, a mere pen and paper wielder, exam marker, lecture deliverer, knowledge vendor. A hunter of antelope can’t compare himself with a hunter of men. Only the Government can delete you from circulation — and even find your corpse […]

My name is Government, in case you don’t know. You underrate me at your peril, Teacher. You, a mere pen and paper wielder, exam marker, lecture deliverer, knowledge vendor. A hunter of antelope can’t compare himself with a hunter of men.

What became of ‘Ali-Mun-Go’? What happened to your alliance with students and the working class? You are paid to teach certain things but, as a military ruler once said, you were teaching what you were not paid to teach. Where in the world is that tolerated? When I told you that I would put holes in your pockets if you didn’t fold your tails and return to classes, you thought it was a bluff. Now, you’re screaming against the half salary you were paid. Don’t you know basic arithmetic? Eight months minus seven-and-a-half months of strike equals two weeks pay.

I hope you will eat your statistics to augment the hunger caused by your half salary. You talk of research as if there’s anything special about it. How long did it take you and your colleagues to realise that Mungo Park did not discover River Niger? Research! What have you invented since the University of Ibadan was established?

I have counselled you to stop griping. Instead, look on the brighter side. For every seeming problem, there is a silver lining. No less a personage than a clergyman recently shared the wisdom that lack of potable water has empowered borehole owners and water merchants; lack of power supply has created the generator industry; failure of public education has created private institutions and the “abroad-ians”; lack of security has created the new fad of armoured vehicles.

 

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