“The conservative concern that it’s not appropriate to facilitate unmarried people having sex means way too many young AND older people are having sex they don’t want, painful sex, non-orgasmic sex, non-intimate sex,” says Carol Queen, PhD, the staff sexologist at Good VibrationsSign up to receive daily headline news from the Ottawa SUN, a division of Postmedia Network Inc.By clicking on the sign up button you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc.
In honour of back-to-school season, I spoke to some of the industry’s leading sex educators over email to get their take on what they wishThis advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.As Queen shares, “I wish I’d learned anything at all about sexual pleasure: the clitoris, the role of arousal, the fact that not everyone wants the same things sexually.
Suzannah Weiss, a resident sexologist for the erotic pleasure platform, FrolicMe, echoed a similar sentiment. She says, “I wish I had learned in sex-ed that it was normal for women to feel desire – and that relationships should be based on women’s desire, not just men’s. As Weiss explains, “it is important for women’s sense of self that they know about their own bodies and pleasure.
Lastly, when it comes to talking about sex, Weiss says, “I wish consent were spoken about in a manner beyond ‘men, no means no.'” Instead, she wishes “we were taught how to have whole conversations around what we want and don’t want in the bedroom and how to communicate during sex to make sure everyone’s feeling good.”
After all, nothing feels more empowering, freeing – and well, sexy — than explaining clearly and confidently exactly what you desire.
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