A visitor places bracelets on crosses at a memorial as he and others pay their respects to the victims killed in last week's Robb Elementary School shooting, Tuesday, May 31, 2022, in Uvalde, Texas.
As a child and adolescent psychiatrist with expertise in school threat assessments, I am often asked to provide guidance to parents following these horrific tragedies. Parents have looked to me to help them find words when their children ask about the shootings. How can we expect parents to be calm when even police officers appear too intimidated to go into an active school shooting without backup? How can parents check their anger when government officials declare that the answer to preventing these shootings is for schools to have a single door. So now our children can risk being trapped in school fires instead?
Even while fighting for better societal protections for our children’s safety, parents have to accept that there will always be risks and that we cannot be paralyzed by them. The key is to establish a solid, trusting relationship with your child — where your child knows that they can come to you with a problem and you won’t freak out, wrap them in bubble wrap, or lock them in the basement. We want to first listen and empathize.
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