Four years into my Ph.D. program, my hands started to go numb each night as I slept. I didn't think much of it at the time; it was just uncomfortable and weird. Then one night, while sound asleep, I somehow mistook my numb arm for a snake. I threw myself out of bed and woke in a panic—panting, trembling, heart racing—on my bedroom floor, poised to defend myself against this imaginary snake. A few nights later, my hand was a spider. Once again, I launched myself out of bed in utter panic.
Juggling the Ph.D. and the clinical program caused the perfectionist in me to run riot. There was never enough time to immerse myself fully in either world. I oscillated between striving to be the best and, when I couldn't, struggling to find motivation to work at all. The clinical exam loomed large in my mind and played into my worst fear: being exposed in front of a panel of experts as the fraud I believed I was. I lived with a constant sense of impending doom.
Later that year, while discussing a patient's symptoms with a neurologist, I realized that my anxiety could be the direct cause of the numbness in my hands. The perpetual stress was triggering tension in my shoulders, and that, in turn, was putting pressure on my nerves and cutting off the circulation to my extremities.
There were some exceptions—peers who had better work-life balance and didn't appear to be riddled with anxiety—but my friends and I persuaded ourselves that their more balanced approach was a failing, a lack of wanting. They clearly weren't on the same career path.When I figured out why my hands were going numb, I turned to running to relieve my stress.
Any stereotype work long period of time affect brain ability may result in stress.
this article is outdated imo
No one should.
Twitter is a dumpster fire. 🔥
Stopped reading at, 'the perfectionist in me'. The world isn't perfect. Reality isn't perfect. Expecting perfect is a delusion for the delusional. Get real. Life is so much less stressful when you do.
I never really realized my father had some serious mental health issues until I got older. He went to prison for 15 years when I was 16 years old.