Research Suggests Life On Earth Began Full 20 Minutes Earlier Than Previously Thought

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CHICAGO—Emphasizing that there was still so much we still don’t know about the ancient microorganisms, researchers at the University Of Chicago announced Monday that life on Earth may have begun a full 20 minutes earlier than previously thought. “After studying the carbon dating of fossils found in deep sea ocean…

CHICAGO—Emphasizing that there was still so much we still don’t know about the ancient microorganisms, researchers at the University Of Chicago announced Monday that life on Earth may have begun a full 20 minutes earlier than previously thought.

28 billion years ago. “At first, we were stunned to discover that these organisms may have evolved as early as a Tuesdaybillion years ago. And then, we discovered that they evolved as early as Spring instead of Summer 4 billion years ago. But this extra 20 minutes changes everything. That’s the difference between the appetizer and the dinner coursebillion years ago.

 

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My calculations say 23 minutes, 42 seconds.

But to be fair, the first 20 minutes is mostly previews and commercials.

Just enough time for a smoke break.

then pluto is a planet after all

TedFriendlyGuy October 23 at 8:40 a.m., 45th meridian time, in 4004 BC ?

Ow_My_Back_ How much research did this discovery take and what is the benefit of this discovery?

Felt a little off today, now I know why.

It's a good thing they raised our taxes to fund this 200 million dollar research grant 🤣🤣🤣

This. Changes. EVERYTHING! The sloth makes SO much more sense now.

They forgot day light saving time

Reset ur calendars. We’re starting over and doing this right.

wow

Have they found intelligent life on Earth yet?

Hah! Fools! The very calculations I need to finish Project: ORION!!! (maniacal laugh)

Right wing is already using the 20 minutes in their anti-science campaigns .

They found the first cell's blackberry!

oh shit this is extremely important

still with error bars of plus minus 172 million years though

‘Life actually begins at the moment of anticipation’, new Christian study finds

life on earth began at 16:25 on a Friday about 10k yrs ago, we know it was a Friday as fossils of old lager cans and prosecco bottles can be found along with discarded kebab meat and chips. At 16:26 the first fight broke out as someone was offended by the first word ever spoken..

Something about teaching accurate history.

You just can't trust scientists when they keep getting things wrong like this

Research suggests The Onion not as funny as previously thought.

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