Download the new Independent Premium appGuidance in place in the rest of the UK also prevents people from having sex with anyone outside of their household.
OlwenOlwen
This is a joke right?
Jajajajaja
It’s high time we stopped talking what these scientists say hook, line and sinker. So COVID-19 is only transmitted through the mouth? What happened to bodily fluids?
the most complicated and unhelpful contraception
Ffs. ..
Nothing says intimacy hire like having sex with masks on unless you’re into BDSM.
Wear nose mask and wear condom, why
My missus asked if mine can be a Chris Hemsworth one.
Finally BDSM goes mainstreaming in medical advice 👍😷
And gloves and condoms..
Those Harvard professors might not have fully grasped the concept of neither a relationship nor sex yet.
Will my rubber or leather one qualify. Asking for a friend. 😂😂😂
antoguerrera Is this one of those 'nudge' thingies designed to make people say 'well I wouldn't do that but I suppose I might wear one at the supermarket'?
Trump’s doctors say
I’m not sure they know what sex is
ashumbusha Why not a full body mask if that's the case
And we are still supposed to go along with this divisive non sense.
Whatever floats ya boat
I guarantee you this doc hasn't had sex in a LONG time.
Seriously? That is not going to happen
How about hazmat suite?
that will be categorised under ...'I can't breathe..'
Have the doctors tried it before recommending for public.😢
Very little if anything can provide 100% protection from this awful virus! I was speaking to a Nurse who’s wife a Nurse at a different hospital was quite ill with the Virus, he never contracted it despite them being together at Home negative tests no sign in him of symptoms.
Kinky!
Nah bruh
Humans can't live without sex for a year ?
Mmk I will get right on that
Kinky
Paranoid Peter now writing your headines? Oh do shut up.
Might keep she from complaining and he from explaining?
HAHAHAHA WTF or a really good joke?
Arswideopen
Ffs don't kiss, but go to London and attack police, that's fine...
They're just laughing at us now aren't they...
They’re really trying to stir people to riot are they? No jobs, no sex, just fear porn on TV
Rubber ones ok?
Do gimp masks work?
🤦
If it turns out that the scientist who lost his job for shagging was wearing a mask at the time, can he get his job back?
You have to pay extra for that
Dunno who wrote this article but they seem to not understand the importance of mouths in..you know.
Lol 😂
Not wise for any kissing either.
& sometimes leather & sometimes lace & sometimes a mascot uniform (I don’t judge!) & definitely sometimes high heeled boots.
2 words. Doggy style.
Ya I'll be there
This is hilarious, people don’t even wear condoms or practice safe sex regularly. Too many things to remember in the heat of the moment! safesex
Hard enough to get people to wear a condom
Masks and beer goggles so.
Great opportunity for unattractive people.
Hardly romantic is it.
?
Monogamy has never looked better, frankly...
It’ll make oral a tad difficult
Way ahead of you.
😂😂😂. What about gloves and gel?
Yea, right
If you say so.
In further news: Doctors abuse NO2
How about getting the headline correct? 'Couples should wear masks when having sex'
pobheid Absolutely.
Is this a joke?
😂😂😂
However, The same doctors advise not to wear condoms when having sex
The jokes just write themselves
Wish this had been the instructions when I was younger, would of saved me alot of nightmares now😀
Oh how low the independent have fallen with rentoul at the helm..
😷😷
What the absolute fuck is this tit-fucking nonsense
Jajajaja pero que estupidez!!!!!!🤦♂️
Is this the case for labour mps shagging married men
This is satire, isn't it?
This country is a complete laughing stock to the eyes of the world. Which doctors advising this?
I...don't know what to say. But some of ya'll are having a really weird pandemic. Wishing you all the best!
Will the police be empowered to interrupt and enforce?
😂😂😂what about gloves and PPE
...well I suppose it'll stop the need for after sex small talk at least....
What about if I want to suck her tongue? Seriously
Don't we all wear masks when having sex? ...
Do they have to put their keys in to separate bowls as well?
Yeah I've already purchased a Rihanna mask
Lol
Kinky
I’ve been saying this for years.
Especially if they are ugly.
'Mask her aid'
Women rejoice everywhere, able to avoid scratchy beards/scruffle and shitty breathe
Get back !
They've been doing that in Fife for years.
The mouth harbors other germs too
I always have done. My Dominic Cummings mask lets me do what the f*ck I want to. 10DowningStreet BorisJohnson LittleTrump BorisJohnsonMustGo SackDominicCummings CCHQPress StayHomeSaveLives Covid19UK ThankYouNHS
No, thanks
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 Who was the doctor ? I wanna see his/her face .
Hhh
What?
Like Tories
Minotaur vs The Centipede Ggg2020
Who wasn’t doing that already
You just went stupid putting this out. Nothing better to write? I'll give you an idea. Write about the people that were innocently killed by rioters. Their names should be right along with George's.
I make my wife wear a mask, and she has to pay to watch, while I gets mine from the maids, nannies, babysitters.
What ? Also a mask when riding my face might give diaperrash lol🤣
I'm not going to say what I am thinking lol sex poop PoopingForJustice
Yay! Not worn my gimp mask in years!!
If one of you has covid, and you're alreading having sex, that mask is gonna make fuck all difference. Just saying.
Give me a fregin break
😂
Fun masks?
Normal people ...
I’m gon die!
hiraethdays 👀
Instructions unclear, got dick caught in CD drive
Soon as they start using condoms
missmeatface Looks like you’re ahead of the curve. 😉❤️
Ooh matron!
Ah hell no
Well I don't know about anyone else but I'll be having nightmares now.
Well, doctors orders 😂
So no oral sex then
Already doing that but good to know.
RuaridhMacc
What kind of mask? Giraffe? Hubs has a tiger mask in the trunk.
They should have Eddie Waring masks.
Andrewjmenzi Pretty sure Reynolds already does.
Fkn great 🙄 looks like I will have to wear a George Clooney mask to bed now 🤦🏻♂️
Things are getting a little crazy around here. Can someone ask Mr J a question on this at the daily press conference please, I feel we need his experienced input.
What a glorious headline. Leaves the choice wide open
Tweet sponsored by Melania.
On it
What? So we didn’t have to wear masks before?
Doctors and nurses outfits?
What a bullshit click bait headline. Even the sub headline of the article says this is not what is being “advised”. To think the Indy used to have a reasonable name for itself 🙄
I’m genuinely confused. Do I not know what sex is or do I not know how disease spreads? People kiss passionately during sex, right? Like that’s a thing? So...that’s much more likely to transmit covid19 than just breathing in someone’s face? Or are they trolling us...?
Ohhhh I have been doing that in the dark for decades, with the light off and ‘er in doors doing the same cause I would not want her to die of shock
Someone needs to get a proper job.
😂😂😂
Could be a blessing for some couples
Men usually stick a paper bag over my head anyway
Finally, I can break out the cellar gimp
Many couples ask whether paper bags (or two) constitute a suitable alternative to masks as the lockdown takes its toll.
Kinky.....
Oh fucking hell. This belongs in thedailymash
So doctors are encouraging kinky sex now and my nurses outfit is 2 sizes too small now after 30 years
These doctors have shit sex. Fact.
Full body cling film wrap is the way. Use tin foil if you have no cling film
ppl still have to be told to wear condoms and now this?!
shardyyyyx hopefully the guy fawkes one lol
What about if my partner doesnt have a pulse?
Sex education has changed
So romantic...
CrazyR0cky
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHA
Weirdly kinky. Quite like it.
ms_molly_vog Your dream has come true.
What can you say to that LOL 😝
No one likes morning breath anyway 😉
Do labour mps have to follow these rules
gregorossello Crikup 👀🎈
🤣🤣😂 But not if we don't live together, right?
Hahahahaha lol
Is that just to accommodate the depraved Tories?
Fuck.that.
And the people that do that should ensure they wear condoms so they don’t ever breed.
Is it April 1st?
No it's bad intent it,but I see some inconvenients
I can't wait to see the consequences....
Are they suggesting something like this
Sounds rediculous.😷🙄
Way ahead of you.
How can you enjoy bath with clothes on?
Like this?
Wonder does Boris use one...what a thought.
Kinky
Is April 1st again?
F off
As long as that’s all ....😂
And people are still believing in this farce.
Next they will say just copy the scene from the 80s film The Naked Gun!
'We know that wearing a mask outside health care facilities offers little, if any, protection from infection.' New England Journal of Medicine, May 21
reason number 987654 to remain celibate lol
Like Zoro?
Chad
The headline should read: 'Niche Kink Becomes Mainstream'
Oh goodness! If I hear more “suggestion” about these masks!😳🙄🙄🙄🙄🤦🏽♀️
Really?
WTF 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣
Fucking ridiculous, quite literally.
Lol stahp
Don’t tell me how to kink
Can imagine the dampen 'groan' from heighten breathlessness might be some sort of a aphrodisiac.....?
Ha, some of the women I've been out with the past definitely should've been wearing a mask....not my long term partner now obviously😁👀
Of all the viruses I could catch having sex this is not the one I'd be worried about catching...
I was imagining more a Halloween type mask.
Kinky
Who is going to listen to this nonsense, only the most ardent brain dead zombie. Burger off.
Sokorrr
Stupidity at the highest level.. Shame on the world scientists.
It might help in some cases.or maybe a paper bag?
Officially he dumbest thing I have heard in COOVID
Covid19 found in body fluids
Masks, protection! We are probably heading to a totally different definition of sex.
Excuse me?
Are these the same people who advised the government on keeping students in 'bubbles'?
I'll just park this here
This is just ridiculous 🤷🏼🤦 ?
Proper kinky
This is my Cummings face....
My wife's bin' talkin' to me wearing this thing fer years ... And as fer nite time ...
Married ones or unmarried ones?
I don't do that anymore, doesn't bother me. At my age, you're more worried about other things like ......🥓🍳😋
Brings new life to putting a bag on someone's head doesn't it.
Greatest laugh !!!!!
Do you really believe that people from different households Haven't been having been having sex😂
I think we must stop sex
Lolllll
Kongfu
Oh my days....
Ha Ha 😆 , joke.
Doctors under the control idiots!
Could this crap newspaper make itself look anymore ridiculous than reporting this utter shite. All aimed at keeping the scared mask wearing house arrest population under control
To late...
Can only have sex with people in the household, no outsiders. This virus has sc_ewed our sex lives too, for a long time to come. Test first, then sex later.😍
Not mentioning any names but for some prominent politicians here and abroad other halves, may I recommend blindfolds as well.
🙄🙄🙄
+a condom I suppose!?
Kinky doctors hey
would take it that far?
WAKE UP PEOPLE FFS
Only a step away from trench coats and werthers originals with this shite.
Pathetic
Not enough masks.
For some it’s been essential for many years.
Other than this mask, imma have to say no
How do ya breath?
better for couples to wear PPE and have sex...😊😊😊
I am sending this to all of my friends 😂😂
😄😄
So snowballing is out of the question?
How about a whole gimp suit, that would work. lol.
I have been putting a paper bag over THEIR head & face for years!?😂😂.... or rather let's be fair and let me rephrase that : THEY have been putting a paper bag over my head & face for years!?... and to be honest I don't really blame them... 😂😂😂
I always do 👍
So that they could suffocate and die?....... One dumb thing from the medical line.
I have been putting a paper bag over THEIR head & face for years!?😂😂
Is it April 1st
Kinky lol!
Bring out the gimp
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Seriously
😏
😂
😂😂😂
What about handjob?
Dear put on a mask and go fck yourself.
Lucius_four safety first
Every thing to be mask... Entertainment ki F***
Do people really believe this crap? FFS.
Ayyy you people love fake news
Seriously? You'll honestly print anything won't you?
🤔
Whatever floats your boat. I’m not judging.
TTSMEsupport MccurdyLana 🤣🤣🤣 funny thread some great pics!!
No more condoms?
Hmmm this is complete nonsense
Fk off, we’re staying double bagged!!!
Doesn't everyone anyway?
I think some already do, if you're into that kind of thing 😁
Bizarre ..
Cover the face and ...
The whole job has been blown out of proportion or they have blown altogether
Oh my God. You people have lost your minds. I know this is one big social experiment , but fuck leave us alone.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
Been doing it for years! 😉
Masks down below too?
I’ve been trying to suggest this to my wife for years. You’ve just made the conversation infinitely easier. I thank you
Lol more BS from the 'experts'.
That's certainly safe sex but how in practice is this going to work when they do want have it off?
Is a ballgag ok?
Hahaha
OK I wore my Captain America mask but my boyfriend wasn't in to it.
i came here for the comments, and im satisfied.
Beelaughdotcom Ya gotta be havin it first. Lol 😂
FFS🤦🏻♂️ This world is getting worse
What if you’re having sex on your own? Do I wear a mask?
The 50 shades effect
New version of a 'double bag job'?
🤣🤣🤣
Plus condoms!!
If your a couple you sleep in same bed you don’t sleep with a mask on so what is the point off one on your face when having sex this is just stupid
You couldn't make this up.
aren't these doctors gone crazy ?
These articles get dumber and dumber. I'm convinced the editor doesn't approve half of them, and they're published anyway.
Is this TheOnion ?
🤣 sex without kiss
goldenageofcomedy
Bruhhh🤣😂😂
Eyes Wide Shut?
Put a picture of your favourite actor or actress on each others mask.
Lol, glory hole! 😅
Gives practising safe sex a new meaning ..
Thanks. Now my screen has to be cleaned of red wine.
What about condoms 😊
Nein
which doctor in his right mind will advise that? doctors from hell.
Oh, Kinky...thank you 'Doctor'.
My wife saw this and brought home a Brad Pitt mask for me to wear!
That crap old joke about '2 paper bags' now becomes official medical advice. This is the end of times
Already do that
Kinky!!!
You must have missed the memo - since the RiotsInAmerica it is pretty obvious coronavirus has been completely cured.
Must be the same doctors who advice Trump
thanks for the advice, missionary will be avoided.
😂
😂😂😂
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