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School Teacher Not About To Risk Her Life For Derek

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CLARKSVILLE, TN—Saying she felt no responsibility whatsoever to protect the 14-year-old student if it meant dying for the kid, local East Parkview High School history teacher Angela Wells told reporters today that in the event of a school shooting, she would likely not risk her own life to save that of freshman Derek Madison. “If it ever came down to it, there’s no way I’d jump in front of a gunman for that kid—I’m sorry, but he’s always late, he talks constantly during class, and frankly, he’s a poor student,” said Wells, who added that she “wouldn’t think twice” before shielding any other student with her own body. “Look, I have a husband and two children. I’m not going to sacrifice all that for someone who enjoys carving the word ‘faggot’ into desks with the sharp end of a compass. If we’re talking about Albert, Jessica, Carolyn, or Rodrigo, that’s a totally different story. But Derek? I just can’t see myself doing that.” Wells later added that if Derek were standing among a group of students being threatened by a gunman, she would strongly consider “just sacrificing the whole bunch of them.”

 

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But for Danny...anything and everything!!

History teacher standing in front of a white board full of mathematical diagrams and equations? C'mon, Onion photo department...

She would however, piss on him if he were on fire.

To be honest; he does have a very shootable face.

DeejDrake cant blame her

Better yet, let's arm her and she can take him out herself.

Lets keep this our little secret... For the Kids every Room is stocked with Baseballs X2 for every chair and min of 4 bats; you know for Special Occasions, because who is going to stop you when you deal out the punishment for harming your classmates!? Really how hard is head?

Knowing that ought to wipe that smug look off his face.

fit_with_hips

He's tardy.

Derek is now destined to be a Cop.

We all “knew” or “know” that guy!

When Derek finds out, let's hope he doesn't become the next to shoot up his school.

I was a Derek!

but kyle, yes. she’s already risking her career with him every thursday in the language lab

Damn it, Derek. Maybe if you had scored a higher grade on that test!

How rude

If he would of did his homework and brought her an apple

🤣🤣🤣

F**k Derek! I hate that guy.

God damn it, Derek!

Raiders

But still buys him school supplies!

wtf lol i just read that and stopped my brain.

Fuck Derek

'Fuck 'im'

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